This one is alright. Next!
Hello and velcom! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Well, I just finished answering what felt like a million questions on facebook and there was one question that led me to talk about the strange creature, that is success. At the time, I had all sorts to say about that but now the feeling’s gone a little bit. I guess I should return to the question.
Oh yes! Maud was asking me what inspired me for the new album. Well, I’m not going to go into that now, because I answered the question there and I’m talking about it all week with journalists. However, in my answer, I went into explaining that in this record I was trying to express the extreme of emotions one feels when the dream of reaching out to people with one’s music is realised.
(Do you like my use of the word ‘one’? Few people really use the word ‘one’ like that anymore, because it sounds very archaic and posh, but I think that it’s a shame. Instead, we use the word ‘you’ to speak in the third party, but it can create confusion of who is being talked about. And if I use ‘one’ in the third party, it suggests I should be a professor at Oxford . I think this is a disappointing way in which the English language is changing colours. There are other disappointing developments, as there are many great new words and ways to speak which are invented. After all, that is what language does. It evolves. We have to evolve with it and I’m all for it. Except for when the simplification of the language stops ‘one’ from being able to express themselves as they wish to. This is the danger of modern technologies and their conveniences. No longer do we have to make an effort to express ourselves when there’s predictive texting! I have to make a big effort to pay attention to the spelling, when it corrects it for me, otherwise, I would never know what to do when I need to write by hand. That’s something I miss too. I never write lyrics with a computer. Always by pen. Black, if I have a choice; feel more like commitment. Writing lyrics by pen is the last bastion of hope that I have to not forgot the beauty of hand writing – not that mine is particularly beautiful.)
End of rant and very long parenthesis diversion. Although, I was enjoying talking about that, I must shimy back to the initial ting.
So, success. Yes. Well, I think I might need to talk about that another time. As you can see, the wind didn’t carry me quite like I had hoped. All I can say now is that it’s a funny old game and one can never be sure of who’s playing or what the rules are. I think, having been through it now and in hindsight, the most important rule for me is to try and stay as connected to the most inspiring vision of myself as possible. I know, it sounds like a very egocentric thing to say but, if I can stay connected to a vision of myself that inspires me, then everything else tends to fall into place, because it means I do the things that I want to do, which fall in line with the things I need to do to remain centered and cool with the world around. And when I can be cool with the world around me, I continue to treat people with respect, giving them time, rather than feeling as though I have to continue to prove something to them. When we don’t know ourselves, there’s a lot to prove, in order to keep up the lie that we do know.
The other day, after talking to a journalist about how my success had affected me, he picked me up on the fact that I had once said ‘success is an illusion’, suspecting that I might have changed my mind. I haven’t. It is an illusion when suggesting that it is a final destination that you arrive at and suddenly, all the questions are answered because you have “You’re new found success!!” In fact, it’s more like a continuation, a mile stone along a road that everyone else walks. Some people might find theirs paved with gold, but the heart’s still made of blood so it doesn’t mean you stop walking. A lot of people think the word, success, equals happiness. A lot of other people think the same word equals sadness. The irony of it is that when one does finally ‘find’ it, you get both. One thing lives and the same thing dies: the dream. You feel happiness and feel sadness. And, like when at your birthday party, everybody sings the your birthday song, you can’t help but have those mixed feelings. The experience forces you into the present, while having all the past and the future thrust in your face like a big cream pie. And people will ask ‘how do you feel? It must be amazing!’ and the answer is ‘In fact, I don’t feel much at all’ and ‘I feel everything!’, but to say that would invite too much concern and spoil the party, so you say, ‘I feel great’. After the birthday party, you go home, climb into bed and try to remember everything that happened and all you can remember is how much everyone else appeared to be enjoying themselves. And you smile with a tear in the eye and say to yourself, ‘oh well… another new day tomorrow… I guess I’ll just carry on then’.
I think that’s probably enough rambling on that subject for one evening. I should probably have a little look for that tear and that smile and climb myself into bedlam where I can let all them dreams can run-a-muck.
Mr Winkston (inspired by the expression ‘to take 40 winks’, meaning to sleep. Sponsored by the BFG)